Treasury Tuesday

On Being a Big-Picture Person

My brother and sisters and I have plenty of reasons to be angry. We grew up in back-woods poverty with parents who were addicted to drugs and alcohol, and there was a lot of physical and verbal abuse in our home. We lived in a tent for several years, then a towing-trailer, then when we put add-ons onto that to turn it into what we called “the shack.” We went without running water, electricity, new clothes, medical care, or dependable transportation for a good portion of our childhoods. When our violent father finally got put behind bars, our mother died of alcohol poisoning just a few months later. She passed away just before the divorce could go through, so, legally, when our father got out less than a year later he inherited all of her material possessions and us kids were left with nothing but each other and a restraining order to protect ourselves from him.

(*Whew!* Try reading that 5 times fast!)

I’m telling you this short-version of my growing-up sob story not so you will pity me in any way, but so I can share with you the possibility of over-coming the sucky situations that go beyond our control. I could reminisce on the co-workers who saw my mother’s black eyes but did nothing about it and conclude that the world is a terrible place not worth salvaging. But I don’t.

It’s too easy of a trap to play the victim and I won’t fall for it.

I am not sad.

I am happy.

I am not angry.

I am hopeful.

I do not feel rejected.

I am bursting with motivation.

I do not think about how unfair life is.

I think about how I can make life better.

I do not hate….

But I am always learning.

I am not depressed.

I am energized.

Today is better than yesterday, and I am looking forward to tomorrow while I enjoy it.

I work hard, and give hard, and love even harder.

I step back, see the big picture, and smile.

No matter who your parents were, where you were born, or what you’ve been unfairly saddled with, you don’t have to be the angry victim. Choose to be a big-picture person instead.

I hope you inspire to go beyond what you’ve been given, and that you recognize the special talents that only you can share with the world. I hope you take that talent and use it to move forward. We all have reasons to be angry, but we also have so many more reasons to be glad. We just have to choose to see it that way.

---

Putting Your Sucky Situation Into Perspective

Time has a funny way of putting things into perspective, and giving clarity to some super-sucky situations. I’m sure we’ve all heard the irritating phrase, “time heals all wounds” at one time or another, and generally when we least want to. But there is some truth to the cliche.

I’m sure everyone can think of a situation that happened a few years ago that SUCKED while it was happening. But, NOW, you understand the benefits of it happening, see why it had to happen, and so forth.

Perhaps it was a relationship breakup. Yes, it hurt while it was happening, but now you look back and think oh-my-goodness THANK GOD I’m not with that douche-bag anymore!

Or maybe it was a challenging experience that really, really sucked at the time, but it helped to turn you into a more disciplined, or grateful person. (The whole, going without to appreciate what you have thing.)

An example from my own life could include the recent years I spent in college. I was a full-time student at a challenging university, and I had to work 3 to 4 jobs WHILE being a full time student. No joke- I honestly worked about 60+ hours a week for a large portion of my student career.

It was hard. It was really friggin’ hard and it was oh-so-tempting to give up sometimes. But now that that period of my life is over, I’m thankful I did what I did. I’m glad I went ahead and took that internship job (which toppled me over to 4 jobs when I was in my final semester), because that job turned into the full-time gig that I still do today. I’m also thankful that I signed up for the student newspaper gig  right before that, because as many hours as the position required, it gave me lots of good experience. That experience is what helped me land my internship job… and you know the rest. ;-)

See how that works? We never know how things are going to turn out for sure, and yes, we’re going to make some bad decisions along the way. But even those decisions can turn into life-lessons that help refine us into better people.

So I want you to consider what is really sucking in your life right now.

Maybe it’s a a friendship going poorly, maybe finances are tight, maybe you’re struggling with a project at work. Whatever it is, delve deep and focus on that one sucky thing.

Then, I want you to envision yourself looking back on your current situation a year from now, 3 years from now, and 10 years from now.

What will your currently difficult situation teach you? How will it help to shape you as a person? What will you end up being grateful for? What will you be relieved happened even though you were resistant to letting it happen at the time? Try to be really honest with yourself here, and do your best to step into your future self, and gain some of that perspective usually reserved for the passage of time.

Experienced any revelations? Please share them in the comments below!

What situation are you dealing with right now, and how has envisioning how you’ll remember it in the future changed your perspective? You guise know I love hearing from you!

Creating White Space for Your Life

Graphic designers have something of a love affair with white space. We drool over the blank areas within a composition as if they were made of milk chocolate and lightly salted caramel. It’s the white spaces that make the design, really. Of course we love it.

Uh… Megan, what’s a white space?

In case you’re unfamiliar, I’ll give you a brief lesson of design. White space doesn’t necessarily have to be white, but it refers to the negative areas within a design without other elements demanding our attention. It’s the white space that draws our focus towards what’s important. For example, check out all of the beautiful white space in this design:

White space, almost as good as chocolate.

Or this design, where the white space isn’t necessarily white:

The white space in this design is actually a pale yellow, but I think you get the idea.

Now, watch what happens when we fill up the white space with other elements:

Ew, this looks gross. Plus, the text is hard to read now.

Lesson #1: White space in design helps us focus on the important elements of the design.

Lesson #2: White space in our lives helps us focus on the important parts of our life.

You just knew I was going to get all deep and sentimental on you, didn’t you?

The same white space principal applies in life as it does design. If we are intent on filling up every spare minute of our time with something, we won’t be able to focus on the important things. Instead of always trying to be busy for the sake of being busy, schedule yourself some white space. Leave a few time slots in your daily schedule with nothing filled in. Use this time to meditate, read, think, and focus on what’s important. Use this time to visualize your goals and consider whether or not your daily activities are helping you achieve them. Leave some time for yourself to breathe, to relax, and to recharge.

White space can be a beautiful thing.

Are you being drained by leeches?

As human beings, we only have so much blood in our bodies (about 5 and half liters, actually.) So we can only withstand so many leeches sucking the blood out of us until we are completely drained of our life force. We can’t live if we don’t have blood. We can’t make art, or be happy, or be productive.

Illustration by K. Dempsey

Now: substitute “blood” for “energy” and “leeches” for friends and family who drain us of that energy, often for nothing in return.

Who are the leeches in your life?

It’s generally not very difficult to identify the blood-suckers. They are the people who you only hear from when they need something from you. They are the family members who make bad mistakes because they know you’ll step in to help them fix everything afterwards. They are the friends who love to gossip about others, including you, behind their backs. They are the creators and lovers of drama, and the complainers of everything under the sun. Leeches love attention, are greedy for help from others, and will never learn their lesson.

You can’t afford to keep giving the leeches your energy.

In order to have the energy to live happily, work towards your dreams, and enjoy quality relationships with the non-leeches in your life, you need to minimize the power the leeches have over you. This is easier said than done, as these people usually do consist of individuals you genuinely care a lot about and really wish you could help. The truth of the matter is, however, only the leeches can help themselves.

It’s tempting to do the favors for the leeches who only contact you when they want something. You miss them, after all. It’s probably been awhile since the last time they wanted something, and maybe, just maybe, if you did this favor for them again they might contact you simply to talk next time. Sorry darling, no they won’t. The next time they contact you it will simply be for another favor, or, because they didn’t learn their lesson last time and need you to help fix it… again.

Remove the drama-inducing friends from your life. They need you, you don’t need them. You are only providing a crutch for them to lean on by letting them use you. Some people will never, ever learn, and they will continue to make mistakes and create drama because they are only happy when they have something to complain about. These sorts of negative people will impact your life and work in a negative way, and you owe it to yourself to not allow them in.

The personal anthem of a misery-loving leech (I’m Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage):

The leeches you are related to can be a little harder to rid yourself of. (You will be seeing them at the next family reunion, after all.) However, you can still minimize the negative impact they have over your life, and set limits to the free favors they have grown accustomed to you performing for them. Be straight and firm the next time one of them asks you for yet another favor. No, you are simply too busy (it’s not even a lie – you ARE too busy!) Time for them to find someone else, or better yet, learn to help themselves.

As you gradually pull off the leeches that have been draining your life-force, you will begin to feel the positive impact. You don’t have to worry about what bad things So-and-So is spreading about you, because you don’t even talk to her anymore. You don’t have to cringe when Uncle So-and-So calls you, because you can allow yourself to not answer. There are so many other people of quality, who genuinely care you, who deserve your time so much more than the leeches do. And best of all, they will return the favor.

Taking a Moment to be Thankful

For my US of A friends, today is Thanksgiving. A national holiday in which we all celebrate our blessings by manner of spending time with family and gorging ourselves on mashed potatoes. (I highly recommend it.)

The main purpose of this holiday is to remind us of all of the things we ought to be thankful for, and give us a nudge to reflect on them. So, in addition to the paid day off from work, here are just a few other things I’d like to add to the list of I-am-grateful-fors…

A loving husband who is not only drop-dead gorgeous, but also enjoys watching Spongebob with me and doesn’t mind the Barbie dolls that decorate much of our home interior.

Rocking friends who, after a few bottles of Mike’s Hard, often end up telling each other how much love we have for one another at our gatherings. (“You’re awesome.” “No, YOU’RE awesome!”)

Family, (duh), including all in-laws and the people I have known long enough that they freaking might as well be included in this too.

My day job (giving me this paid day off). Not only does it pay the bills and provide the health insurance, but I actually don’t dread going to it. (yay!)

My house. Being a home-owner (even if it’s really the bank that technically owns it) feels soooooooo good.

My business. (And, in turn, my customers, followers, and fans. All of which I am eternally grateful for.) It’s pretty sweet that people actually wanna pay me money for the crap I make and read this shyte I write. THANK YOU!

Caffeine: thanks for making life possible.

Melissa Etheridge, for recording the ultimate sing-along catharsis with her hit, “I’m the Only One.”

Stephen King, for providing me with enough entertaining reading material to last me the rest of my lifetime. Or at least close to it.

The internet, for allowing me to connect with fabulous peeps from all over the world and share my handmade goodies with them.

And, finally (although there is really so, so much more), for my good health. Knock on wood.

What’s on YOUR thankful list today?

Releasing the Pressure to Work for Free

What you are an artist or a crafter, it can be a bit too much for someone to wrap their heads around the fact that you actually need to MAKE MONEY. To do things, like, you know, EAT.

Dark Blue Floating Necklace & Earrings Set

Most of the times it’s your very own friends and family who are the WORST when it comes to this kind of a thing. “Can you make me this?” “Can you fix this?” “Can you design me this?” “Can you critique this?”

Considering that I have SO MUCH FREE TIME, I respond, “Well, of course! I’ll get on that right away!”

So my list of freebie jobs for friends and family builds and builds, until I don’t have time for the jobs that actually pay the bills. I’m not going to tell you to NEVER do some favor jobs for people you care about, but I am going to warn you that if you give an inch, people tend to ask for a mile. So…

Know where to draw the line.
One favor for a friend is one thing. For example, if your a knitter and your friend’s hat is starting to fray. Go ahead and fix it for her. When she brings you a box full of hats that need fixed, tell her you charge by the hour. Period.

Let them know your favor counts as a gift for an upcoming event.
Right now I’m designing invitations and bridesmaid jewelry for my friend who’s getting married, along with a dozen other favors for her wedding. These favors are going to count as her wedding gift, not in addition to. Same thing when I design announcements for my friends who are graduating, and so on.

Don’t be afraid to name your price.
When a random co-worker asks me to make a pair of earrings for her, I’ll say right off the bat how much that will cost. I’m not about to make the earrings, and then hope she’ll ask me what she owes afterwards. Chances are, she’ll just say “thank you!” and think that they are free of charge. I’m NOT exaggerating, this has happened to me before. Save yourself the trouble and give your quote ahead of time.

Let people know how much you NORMALLY charge.
If you DO agree to work on a project (as a gift) for someone, for free, be sure to let them know how much it will cost next time. This will also help you in the matter of other people seeing your work from this person and making inquiries in regards to it. It also doesn’t hurt to inform people just how valuable your time really is. Maybe they’ll think twice before asking again.

Getting Support from Family and Friends

There are some AMAZING individuals out there in the world of the internet. They have done me some HUGE favors by referring my business to their own cyber and social networks. I am supremely grateful for their support. I’m talking about those people who I’ve never actually met face-to-face, but they seem to think that I’m awesome enough to share with those that they have. Super flattering. And super helpful for my online business. My thanks goes out to these individuals ten-fold.

But what about those who I do know in “real life”? My family, friends, co-workers, etc.? In comparison, support from them has been fairly sparse. My grandmother occasionally sells earrings for me at the assisted living center she works at, and my mother-in-law is more than happy to tell people about my business (even in her Christmas newsletter, goodness gracious!), but that about sums it up. I’m not complaining about these people, not in the least bit. My lack of support from them is entirely MY FAULT. Partially a result of shyness, and partially a lack of confidence. I have yet to take the initiative to ASK for their help.

Ways in which I plan on recruiting my friends, family, and co-coworkers to help spread the word of my business:

• Invite them not only to “like” my Facebook fan page, but also tell them I will ♥ them 4evahhhhh if they encourage their friends to like it too.
• Give them more than 1 business card, asking them to pass the extras on.
• Leaving flyers for craft fairs I am attending in the break room at work.
• Inform friends of my abilities the next time they are needing a service (design work, gift ideas, etc.)
• Ask friends and family for ideas on what else I could be making and adding to my Etsy shops, that way they feel like they are contributing.
• Offer friendly “affiliate” type incentives. E.g., “Short on freelance graphic design work right now. If anyone knows anyone who would want me to do some design work for them, I’ll buy you lunch if you recommend me!”
• Host an open house jewelry party. Send out invites and encourage those invited to invite someone else.

I’m sure I’ll think of more, but that is a fairly substantial list for now. If you run your own business or sell handmade, how do you encourage the people you know to help you spread the word?

Holiday Wrap-Up (Or, I guess, Unwrap?)

If you are one of those families that can fit all of their Christmas festivities into the 25th of December, surely you are aware of the rarity that you are. The rest of us don’t have a Christmas DAY, it’s more like a Christmas WEEK (give or take a day or two.) Fitting all of the activities into one day would be like trying to fit an entire zoo into a Prius. It just ain’t gonna happen.

I don’t mind. This way the fun and excitement spreads itself out. It means several days in which I get to pack on the pounds by stuffing my face with frosted sugar cookies and gulping down eggnog. I tell myself I’ll work the pounds off later (which will never actually happen.) It also means spending adequate amounts of time with different groups of friends and family. Some of which I only get to see during this time of year.

Because of our work schedules we had to do some flipping around of what we would normally do on days before and after Christmas. My husband had to work on Christmas eve (Booooooo!), so we headed out to see my Grandparents the day prior. My Aunt and Uncle who recently moved to Hawaii were there, so they got to brag bout how nice it is to live in a climate where the weather is always perfect. It was nice that they came up so we got to see them.

My husband and I did our mini-Christmas the morning of Christmas eve, before he left for work. Although many women out there would claim differently, I have to state that my husband is the most amazing there is in the world. He got me a new car stereo (which I have been dying for for AGES!) Oh, Mr. Zombie, you have never sounded so good! So that was pretty awesome. After he got off of work later that evening we headed out to his parents house to spend the night.

Christmas was magical, as always. Santa stuffed our stockings full of goodies and presents and wrapping paper abounded. Dinner was amazing and The Christmas Story every bit as funny as it was last year. Another perfect holiday to finish off a pretty much perfect year.

The next day we headed to my older sister’s for a Christmas brunch with her family and some other members of her extended family. My husband got to see her new house for the first time, so that was cool. We still have yet another Christmas this week with some of our close friends (pretty excited), and then it’s on to the New Year’s celebration. Can’t believe it’s already going to be two-thousand-and-frikin-twelve. (STILL no flying cars!!?!? WTH!?!) I’ll have to think of some resolutions here pretty quick.

How were your holiday celebrations? Feel free to one-up me in the comments below!

The Daunting Task of the Christmas Newsletter

I’ve recently decided that this is going to be my first year writing a Christmas newsletter. We all get them. We all get bored with enjoy them. I typically don’t have a hard time getting myself to write. (Obviously, you are thinking if you are a frequent reader of this blog.) I often times have to restrain myself from turning these posts into novels.

However, there are still some forms of writing that I can find difficult. It becomes especially tricky when I have to write for a certain, close or general audience. As in, an audience I can’t use the word “shyte” around. As in, the audience who will be reading my Christmas newsletter.

Taking the leap I went ahead and wrote my brief letter blog style. Instead of being all mushy-gushy, I went ahead and voiced my words in my usual, slightly-snarky and semi-ironic way. I did however, refrain from using the word “shyte.” I also designed it with pretty graphics and pictures, so maybe, just maybe, the images will entrance anyone from being offended by my writing style. (Oh, the glorious benefits of being a Graphic Designer!)

You can click the below image to see/read for yourself (background: Nick is my hubby & Jeana is my younger sister who lives with us):

I haven’t printed/mailed these off yet, so if you have any pointers for me feel free to share. Also, I’d like to know if you write your own Christmas newsletter? Do you find it more difficult than regular freestyle writing?