Handling the Haters

FACT: The more awesome and successful you become, the more people are going to hate you.

It’s a jealous, jealous world out there, and unfortunately, some people think that they can make themselves feel better by tearing other people down.

There was this girl I knew in high school. She was cool. And by cool, I mean cooool. She knew about bands before they became popular. She dresses fashionably and always had the wildest hair and makeup. She was thin, and beautiful. She was from sunny California and even did modeling.

One day she asked a boy if he would be interested in going out on a date with her. Being her cool and confident self, she could do shyte like that without even hesitating.

He told her no, she was too ugly for him.

As I pointed out earlier, this girl was anything BUT unattractive. The only reason this lame-ass had for telling her otherwise, was to try to make himself feel better. He felt like he could be a hotshot by turning down one of the most attractive and popular girls in school. He was what many of us would refer to as a hater.

American Apparel Loose Crop Tee In Fushia – $28.99

Haters are the people who despise anyone who is in any way better than them. They generally are not comfortable with their own situations, so they take out their resentment on others. Haters come in many forms. They may hate people who are more physically attractive than them, more popular, or smarter. There are those who hate people in more stable relationships, and then there are those who loath the success of others. In whatever area you excel, you can be sure there is someone out there that resents you for it. If you haven’t noticed them yet, it’s never to late to prepare.

If you are selling your handmade goods as your business, dealing with haters can be a particularly sticky situation. You do after all, CREATE the items you sell, so the negative criticisms can come across as particularly harsh. Before you let your emotions respond, be sure you can pick out what is useful feedback, and what is simply hater-speak.

Some examples:

“Your items are way too expensive. I can’t believe you can sell so many of them. Who is stupid enough to pay that much?” – hater speak

“Are you sure you are paying yourself for your time, marketing, and supplies with your prices? You may want to consider gradually raising them.” – helpful feedback

“You have beautiful items, but your dark pictures make it hard for me to see any of the details. You should consider editing them in a photo program before listing.”
– helpful feedback

“Your low prices are hurting the entire industry. No wonder I can only only sell one item a week when you are selling dozens with those ridiculously low prices of yours. It’s sellers like you that make it harder for us all.” – hater speak

When you can pick out the helpful feedback from the hater speak, you can prevent yourself from getting upset. Sometimes frustrated sellers (both online and at craft shows), think that they can blame the other sellers for their lack of business. Know that is has nothing to do with you, they just want to find a target they can point blame. Don’t let their negative words sink in. If what you are doing is working, no reason to stop because of the jealousy that success draws. Also, if you find yourself in the position of the frustrated seller, try to think twice before you start blaming others for your lack of success.

Love Heart Pink and Red Cupcake Ring

Being a hater benefits no one. However, if you work on bettering yourself and your own business, you may find yourself in the position to be able to offer helpful feedback. Everyone can benefit from some good advice now and then.


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33 thoughts on “Handling the Haters

  1. Heather August 13, 2012 at 8:39 am Reply

    I had an overly jealous ex-friend (hence why she’s an ex friend) like that. She always needed to be better, wealthier, and have better things. She has so many things to be grateful for but she would waste all her time thinking of ways to out-do others. I couldn’t imagine living life like that! As for myself, any negative comments I get are mostly just set aside. I try not to let anything get to me too much. Nor do I blame others for any failures, it’s most likely a mistake on my own part and something to learn from!

    • MegansBeadedDesigns August 13, 2012 at 10:10 am Reply

      You’re very strong Heather! As artists, it’s harder than it seems to not let negative comments get to us, that’s for sure!

  2. amandajocrafts August 13, 2012 at 8:47 am Reply

    Great post! Running an etsy shop, you’re bound to get some dismissive hater comments about your work and the way you go things, but it’s just not worth the time to get bent out of shape about them! For every hater, there’s a thousand lovely people in this world!

  3. A Half-Baked Notion August 13, 2012 at 9:35 am Reply

    Wow, sad but true, Megan; not everyone out there is willing to drink from the half-full glass. I’ll be strapping on a bullet-proof vest before venturing into the online selling fray. But I do agree with the comment from amandajocrafts: thank goodness the lovers outnumber the haters (and always will!)

    • MegansBeadedDesigns August 13, 2012 at 10:09 am Reply

      They do! The haters are just LOUDER, and we have to remember they aren’t as many in number as they seem because of it!

  4. Vivid Please August 13, 2012 at 11:12 am Reply

    Hating never got anyone anywhere, that’s for sure. If they used an ounce of the energy they put into the hating they could produce something they could be proud of, or perhaps start their own craft business if they think they know so much!
    Great to know the positive people are still going strong :) rule number one in the craft world is to ignore those people because they suck!

  5. Cindy Breninger August 13, 2012 at 11:15 am Reply

    Agreed. I try to be positive and help build people up, not tear them down. Tearing them down doesn’t make me look better, only worse. Good post. :) Cindy Breninger Deerwood Creek Gifts

    • MegansBeadedDesigns August 13, 2012 at 11:37 am Reply

      Great way to be Cindy. And like I said in the post, there is a difference between helpful advice/criticism, and just plain being mean. It’s okay to honest feedback, just not bitter resentment.

  6. Amanda August 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm Reply

    Great post!! I don’t understand people who tear others down. I haven’t heard any word from haters… yet… but I’m almost looking forward to it! I’ll try and look at it as a sign of success!

    • MegansBeadedDesigns August 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm Reply

      Yes! Always remember: the more awesome you are, the more haters there will be!

  7. TheHomespunLoft August 13, 2012 at 8:00 pm Reply

    Great post! I like your comments about “hater speak”. Very true.
    New follower from Linked In.

  8. Shirley August 13, 2012 at 8:36 pm Reply

    Great post and I agree. I have had people tell me my work is to high price, but it does sell. I have learn not to take offense at people’s comment. My parents taught me a long time ago, you treat people how you want to be treated. Shirley@shirleystitches

    • MegansBeadedDesigns August 14, 2012 at 8:14 am Reply

      The golden rule that applies in every situation. Your parent gave you great advice. :-)

      Often times the people that tell you your work is too high priced wouldn’t buy it anyway, no matter what the price, and are just using that as an excuse. They also don’t tend to know how time and cost goes into your product, and may be comparing it to mass-market factory items.

  9. ConnieM August 14, 2012 at 5:17 am Reply

    I came from linkedin~I was interested in the article you wrote. I agree with what you are saying. I don’t sale goods, I’m in to the publishing side and working on maufactures design teams. I see this~people that supported you before suddenly drop off the face of the earth. Thanks for the article! Your site looks great!!!! I “liked” your fan page:):)

  10. diane allen August 14, 2012 at 9:56 am Reply

    Megan, thank you for this post. It was much more helpful than many of the comments I see on these sites, and it addressed a new and pertinent topic. Great job!

  11. J_Mo August 14, 2012 at 11:24 am Reply

    Great post, Megan, and so true!

    I haven’t quite hit my stride as a seller yet, but even I get the “haters” once in a while. I just giggle quietly to myself about it and go on with what I’m doing. I’ve experienced so much love and support from my peers and from my friends and family that I just don’t let it bother me, and I recognize that it is their problem, not mine.

    Saw your post on LinkedIn. Thanks so much for sharing it!

  12. Debi Woods August 15, 2012 at 9:32 am Reply

    Hello Megan,
    Great post. Last year at a show, I had a lady come in and was talking about my jewelry being yardsale junk. I calmly told her I made my jewelry. I noticed she was dressed in living history event clothing… which is what type of show I was doing…
    She just got ruder and said she could buy better at Wal Mart, and I said yes, she probably could, but I made mine and I know what quality one gets from my jewelry. “”” I REALLY WANTED TO TELL HER TO LEAVE”””… but I kept calm….
    I finally picked up a necklace, handed it to her as a gift and told her to catch me at the next show and to let me know how she liked it….
    At first, she said NO…. but I insisted and she took the necklace and stormed out….
    I was so mad, at her AND myself for giving her the necklace… dumb me I said…. but also at her for raising such a ruckas in my tent.
    Hours later, after all the spectators had left the grounds, she showed up… with her husband in tow…. she apologized and said, she was watching me sale where no one was buying from her.
    She asked me to look at her jewelry and tell her what was wrong. At first, I did not want to, but I did, and gave her some pointers….
    Seen her at a show last weekend and her husband came in first to THANK ME, because his wife is a lot nicer person…. she came later on and apologized again and said she was jealous of me…. she cried and I told her it was ok…
    And heckfire… she probably sold more than I did …..lol
    sorry for the long post….
    saw you on linkedin and love your post…

    • MegansBeadedDesigns August 15, 2012 at 9:45 am Reply

      Wow Debi thank you for sharing! This story is the perfect example as to why we should not let hater speak get the better of us, chances are jealousy is behind it!

      I feel like you really took the high road by offering her advice and pointers, even after she was so rude to you. Karma will reward you for your actions in the end.

  13. Carol Whilldin West August 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm Reply

    I’m over from LinkedIn and have an Etsy shop. Because I’m fairly new I haven’t any haters yet, but the article will help me if I do.

  14. UniqueNique August 16, 2012 at 6:32 am Reply

    Nice I like the way you put it out there – haven’t had to deal with the haters yet – obviously haven’t made it ;~D but I have had to deal with the Walmart buyers and you are right, people that complain about price have no idea what goes into your product and also would probably not buy it even if you were in whatever price range they feel you should be in so you need to stay focused and not feel that you need to compete. Sometimes though that is not the easiest course to follow.

    • MegansBeadedDesigns August 16, 2012 at 8:10 am Reply

      I understand Unique, particular when sales are slow, it’s easy to just assume that your prices are too high when there are so many other factors involved.

  15. Word Owl American Apparel Crop Tee August 18, 2012 at 9:56 am Reply

    […] Handling the Haters « MEGAN'S CREATIVE BLOG […]

  16. Tracey White August 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm Reply

    beautiful and well written article Megan – loved reading it – I’ve come over from linkedin also have an etsy store to. I’ve had to deal with comments at markets like “I could make that” – “wow that’s expensive I could make it for less”, “she’s not going to sell anything” and the list goes on!
    I’ve also lost a friend over my online success – she couldn’t stand the fact that I was making sales on etsy and she wasn’t – I had to withdraw from the friendship to save my sanity! I did offer to help her and even go into business together (what was I thinking?) but the offers were declined.
    So I now hold my head high knowing that I’m making quality and original products and I do have my likers.
    I’ve learnt not to take haters comments to heart – you never know what’s going on in their own life to make them like that.

    • MegansBeadedDesigns August 21, 2012 at 4:56 pm Reply

      Thanks for sharing Tracey, sounds like you really dodged a bullet by not going into business with someone who would have ended up being difficult to work with.

  17. […] these new peering eyes there will be critics. Some with be offering helpful advice, others will be haters looking to say what will hurt the […]

  18. […] See what happened there? In either response, the criticizer was recognized, and felt as though his or her complaints were HEARD and RESPONDED to. There’s even a good chance that your positive, appreciative attitude could land you some new customers. Keep that in mind before you feel the urge to post a knee-jerk defense of whatever negative thing anyone has to say about your items. Related post: Handling the Haters […]

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